Dear Dr. Wendy,
I really want a girlfriend but I have a pretty busy life working long hours at a startup company. I haven’t met anyone I like for awhile (ok I do get together with a “friend” once in awhile - at her place because I live in a small place that’s kinda messy so I don’t want to invite anyone over). I know, I know I need some help!

Thanks!
Jason in San Francisco

Dear Jason,

Thanks for sharing! Even if you are sure that you want a partner - you may encounter other roadblocks, and it looks like you’ve hit all of them below!

Some of us are so busy, rushing around so fast that we don’t even notice the people around us…and when we do see them, we don’t make the time to get to know them. I have a client who works 60 hour weeks, spends her free time with her women friends and at home, and just realized that if she wants a partner, she needs to make time for a partner. Does this sound familiar?

Not having time for a partner is a common roadblock to love in our busy, workaholic, multi-tasking society. If you want a partner, make finding one a priority. Make time to meet people, show up at events that interest you, make eye contact and connect with others, let your friends, family and coworkers know you’re looking, and use the internet to connect.

Another variation on this roadblock is when your road to love is blocked because there’s no room in your life for a partner. I have a few clients whose apartments are so cluttered with stuff they will never invite a date over. Does this sound like you? Make room for a partner in your life: clear your home of clutter, make your space inviting, and make your bedroom a sanctuary. Make room in your schedule, and room in your home and life for someone special.

Sometimes this means letting go of someone who is in your life, but is not your life partner. Maybe you are involved in a casual romance, maybe you’re pining over an ex-lover and longing to get back together, or maybe you’re dating someone who will never be a match for you. In this case, your heart is not open to the love you desire because it’s occupied with someone who is not your life partner. Your road to love is blocked because someone who is not your true love is occupying your heart! Does this sound familiar to you? Are you ready to muster up the courage to let them go? If you want love in your life, let go of whoever is filling up your heart so you can open your heart to true love.

So, Jason, it looks like you’ll be making some changes in your life if you really do want to share it with a partner who is right for you! Please contact me and I will help you in this process.

Much love and joy to you,
Dr. Wendy

Wendy Lyon, Ph.D., Psychology
Master Certified Relationship and Life Coach
Workshop, Course and Retreat Facilitator

(415) 342-1300
DrWendy@InJoyLife.com
www.InJoyLife.com